It's interesting how much our lives mimic a roller coaster ride. I'm not one of those thrill seekers that enjoy roller coasters. On the contrary, just the thought of it upsets my stomache. Roller coasters have steep climbs, sudden drops, jerks to the left, jerks to the right, all at a fast speed. We have moments in our lives that we feel we are on the top of that roller coaster (the thrill and excitement of it all) only to find moments later going into a nose dive (feeling as though your going to lose your lunch).
I had been a single parent for sixteen years with many ups and downs in parenting but last November I had experienced one of those 'nose dives'. As any parent knows, raising a teenager is not easy and has its challenges but is worth it in the long run. My daughter, after months of arguments and fights decided to go live with her father. This was devastating for me--as a mother and as a person. I had always wanted a husband and children to take care of. Not only had I failed at marriage, now I was faced with failure as a parent. I was now all alone. But in Deuteronomy 31:8 it says that, The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
I wasn't really alone but because I had focused on my circumstance--how I had failed, what I was missing, what had been done to me--I did not acknowledge God's authority and control over the situation. Romans 8:28 says "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." While it was painful for me at the time because I loved my daughter so dearly and missed her greatly I saw that God was teaching me and drawing me into a closer relationship with Him. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. according to Hebrews 12:11. Not that I have been completely trained by this experience but I can say that it has produced many things--this blog is one of them.
While I had always desired a husband and children to take care of, it didn't happen the way I wanted so I clung tightly to my daughter. Through the pain, I learned that God did not give my daughter as a gift to hold onto tightly but to show His deep love as He did with His Sone. God must be put above children, husband(if you have one ;-)) and everything else in your life. You cannot give Him almost everything. He desires it all. Hebrews 13:5 says "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” I can trust God's promises and know that He will never leave me or forsake me but I must be willing to trust Him in all circumstances.
No matter what you may be going through just remember it is temporary; Psalm 30:5b "...weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." Whether you like the roller coaster or you are like me and don't care for it, know that God's in charge of the ride. He loves and cares for you and will be with you through it all, just cry out to Him. Psalm 120:1, I call on the Lord in my distress, and he answers me.
