I've never been very good with intimate relationships. For several years I have had an interest in a man but denied it to myself and others because I wasn't willing to open myself up to anyone. As I have allowed God to tear down walls and heal old wounds I'm learning to open up. As my eyes were opened it became very obvious to me there was significant physical attraction (I'm sure I blushed when that revelation occurred) :-). Needless to say, all of a sudden I'm ready to get this thing started (so to speak).
Well, let's just say that it didn't get started, I'm impatient and he wasn't interested in me. In the past, I would have felt rejected and closed myself off again. Tonight, instead, I smiled and praised God that I He had done a work in me and my heart was full of joy. I have been redeemed and restored--my life is not measured by whether someone accepts or rejects me--God, the Creator of the universe has already accepted and loved me--and willingly allowed His Son to die on a cross for me. What's even more wonderful is I felt a desire to pray for this man that God would bless him in whatever he does in his life and give him his deepest desires. We are told in I Thessalonians 5:18 "give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."
I have to giggle at myself sometimes. Although I closed myself off for many years (at least a decade), all of a sudden I want things NOW, to fall into place in my timing. It has taken a long time for me to get here....41 years to be exact; but all by God's grace and mercy. As walls have come down, eyes opened and revelation from God, I am in awe of the work He is doing in me and through me. I'm learning to follow His leading and rest in His presence. My journey is getting quite fun. Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations. Psalm 46:10
As I took my dog out tonight in the backyard it was incredible. There was no traffic on nearby roads, the only thing I heard was the wind whipping through the trees and my windchime....God was there. In that quiet, still, moment His presence could be seen and felt as the wind tossed the limbs of the trees and whirled around. As I listened I was reminded of the tree planted by the stream in Psalm 1:3 He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. Now that I know and my eyes are open I intend to follow God's leading and prosper--whatever that may look like.
Ephesians 5:14 says "For this reason it says, "Awake, sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." I am awake and Christ is shining on me. :-) I am waiting expectantly to see what God has in store for me. Are you ready to take your journey with God?
As a side note I finally kicked into the physical side of this too--I'm back at the gym and have started taking dance classes.
